I didn't post pictures of Caitlin's actual birthday and didn't want to overlook it because my weekend was a little, well... emotional.
Caitlin had a lovely birthday. She went to school for a few hours and then we headed to PCMC to deliver our special treats. We had intended to "give back" but got much more out of this little visit than we possibly could have given. Sweet Bonnie made a card for Caitlin and had all of her team (except Dr. B) sign it. We were able to see everyone and they all seemed genuinely pleased to see our girl; to see how tall she's grown, and to see her celebrate another birthday. Dr. C sang happy birthday Rockin' Roll style and Bonnie followed up with "geriatric " style. We love these special people; they are our angels.
We then headed downtown and had lunch at Olive Garden, where Caitlin opened her gifts. After lunch we said goodbye to Clint and the two of us headed to Lion King. I was so impressed with the performance! We have seen Lion King in New York, so I couldn't imagine it would be as good here. It was. The voices and costumes were amazing. Next year Mary Poppins will be here in September and we've already decided it's a date. ;-D
One more thing, you've gotta love it when your child decides to try a new hairstyle on her big day. I have pretty much given up control, well, I'm still holding on a little bit.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The Birthday Gift I Wish Caitlin Would have Received
Caitlin got the video camera she wanted for her birthday. She hinted and downright begged for this little gadget.
What I wish we would have given her for her birthday is a bubble; a nice cozy bubble. I would happily help her get in it and let her stay there as long as she wants; her own little refuge from the world.
We found out this week that Caitlin is struggling in school and is significantly behind in her work. It's discouraging. We think it's a combination of Caitlin's inability to organize and understand her teacher's directions and expectations. We're hopeful her teacher will be open to a contract and communicating with us directly. Until a game plan is in place though, I feel frustrated and upset that we haven't known about this problem before this week. She has missing assignments from the first week of school!
Today was more softball drama. My sister gave Caitlin a new softball bat for her birthday and she was so excited to use it today. She ran up to take her turn at bat and actually showed a little confidence. She didn't take any swings and was lucky enough to walk to first, and then run all the bases to score for her team (She told Clint she made a home run, we had to correct her that she made it to home base). However, while she was taking her turn up at bat, there was a runner on third and Caitlin didn't know she was supposed to move out of the way so the runner could run home. Someone (not sure if it was a parent from our team or the other team) yelled out, "Knock her in the head if she won't get out of the way!" Sheesh. That hurt.
The second game of the day was even worse. The pitcher on the other team was a total brute with plenty of intimidation tactics, and her mouthy mother as her coach. She did this weird smack of the ball against her shin, then yelled/grunted when she threw the ball. She threw hard and not always accurately; she hit a few of our players. She then proceeded to threaten some of players on the field that she would hit them with the ball when they were up at bat. The coaches and referee got involved and it got a bit ugly, but the girl was allowed to stay in the game and was still allowed to pitch. When I saw Caitlin put on the batting helmet and get ready to bat, I felt ill but determined to remain calm. Then the next thing I knew, she was on the bleachers, crying that she didn't want to bat. We tried to talk her into taking her turn, but I'll admit I didn't try my hardest to convince her. I'm still not sure what the right thing to do might have been.
So after being at the hospital yesterday where everyone was so happy to see her, and having the insight of knowing how far she's come in her growth and development, it's disappointing and discouraging to experience these little heartaches. I completely understand that I won't be able to protect her from life, but I want to. Clint keeps reminding me that we want her to have a normal life. The more I think about it, I really don't. I want her to have normal experiences while being treated special. It makes these birthdays bittersweet knowing that the older she becomes, the less control we will have in protecting her. All I wanted nine years ago was a lifetime of birthdays; now I just want to slow it all down while I try to toughen up and prepare myself for what is to come. There will be more expectations, more disappointments, more realizations that everything she attempts to do in life may result in failure and hurt. I admit to not being worried about these things with Caleb to the degree I am with Caitlin. I have no idea if it's the cancer, the fact that she's a girl, or that she's my baby. Whatever it is, it weighs heavy on my mind and heart these days.
I think what it comes down to is celebrating the caring and compassionate person Caitlin is today and who she is becoming with each passing year. It's being okay with the fact that she's not a star student or athlete. It's knowing that surviving cancer is huge, but that it doesn't give her a free pass in life and she will still be subjected to life's expectations and struggles. It's learning to be forgiving and kind to those who hurt her (and us). It's about fully living and making the best of what we have.
Here are a few pictures of Caitlin's "home run".
What I wish we would have given her for her birthday is a bubble; a nice cozy bubble. I would happily help her get in it and let her stay there as long as she wants; her own little refuge from the world.
We found out this week that Caitlin is struggling in school and is significantly behind in her work. It's discouraging. We think it's a combination of Caitlin's inability to organize and understand her teacher's directions and expectations. We're hopeful her teacher will be open to a contract and communicating with us directly. Until a game plan is in place though, I feel frustrated and upset that we haven't known about this problem before this week. She has missing assignments from the first week of school!
Today was more softball drama. My sister gave Caitlin a new softball bat for her birthday and she was so excited to use it today. She ran up to take her turn at bat and actually showed a little confidence. She didn't take any swings and was lucky enough to walk to first, and then run all the bases to score for her team (She told Clint she made a home run, we had to correct her that she made it to home base). However, while she was taking her turn up at bat, there was a runner on third and Caitlin didn't know she was supposed to move out of the way so the runner could run home. Someone (not sure if it was a parent from our team or the other team) yelled out, "Knock her in the head if she won't get out of the way!" Sheesh. That hurt.
The second game of the day was even worse. The pitcher on the other team was a total brute with plenty of intimidation tactics, and her mouthy mother as her coach. She did this weird smack of the ball against her shin, then yelled/grunted when she threw the ball. She threw hard and not always accurately; she hit a few of our players. She then proceeded to threaten some of players on the field that she would hit them with the ball when they were up at bat. The coaches and referee got involved and it got a bit ugly, but the girl was allowed to stay in the game and was still allowed to pitch. When I saw Caitlin put on the batting helmet and get ready to bat, I felt ill but determined to remain calm. Then the next thing I knew, she was on the bleachers, crying that she didn't want to bat. We tried to talk her into taking her turn, but I'll admit I didn't try my hardest to convince her. I'm still not sure what the right thing to do might have been.
So after being at the hospital yesterday where everyone was so happy to see her, and having the insight of knowing how far she's come in her growth and development, it's disappointing and discouraging to experience these little heartaches. I completely understand that I won't be able to protect her from life, but I want to. Clint keeps reminding me that we want her to have a normal life. The more I think about it, I really don't. I want her to have normal experiences while being treated special. It makes these birthdays bittersweet knowing that the older she becomes, the less control we will have in protecting her. All I wanted nine years ago was a lifetime of birthdays; now I just want to slow it all down while I try to toughen up and prepare myself for what is to come. There will be more expectations, more disappointments, more realizations that everything she attempts to do in life may result in failure and hurt. I admit to not being worried about these things with Caleb to the degree I am with Caitlin. I have no idea if it's the cancer, the fact that she's a girl, or that she's my baby. Whatever it is, it weighs heavy on my mind and heart these days.
I think what it comes down to is celebrating the caring and compassionate person Caitlin is today and who she is becoming with each passing year. It's being okay with the fact that she's not a star student or athlete. It's knowing that surviving cancer is huge, but that it doesn't give her a free pass in life and she will still be subjected to life's expectations and struggles. It's learning to be forgiving and kind to those who hurt her (and us). It's about fully living and making the best of what we have.
Here are a few pictures of Caitlin's "home run".
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Good, Better, Best
Good- IT is on the job and I have a personal technician working with me on my computer issues at work. It's been a long week with my computer freezing up and my stats reflect it.
Better- I love my new calling with the Young Women! The girls are wonderful and my first lesson went great, although we could have used more time.
Best- Clint scored Lion King tickets for Caitlin's birthday. Wahoo! We are going to the matinee tomorrow after visiting the hospital and going to lunch.
Better- I love my new calling with the Young Women! The girls are wonderful and my first lesson went great, although we could have used more time.
Best- Clint scored Lion King tickets for Caitlin's birthday. Wahoo! We are going to the matinee tomorrow after visiting the hospital and going to lunch.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Our Weekend in Cedar
We spent the weekend with my family. We had a celebration; my parents 40th wedding anniversary. I can't believe we didn't take a picture! All my siblings were there, my grandma and aunt, and all the grandkids, except for cute Kylan. I'm grateful to my parents for providing us with a stable and happy home; sticking it out through good times and bad. Thanks mom and dad!
My mom, Caitlin, Toni, and I went shopping for the treat bags for the inpatient kids at PCMC that we're going to deliver on Friday. We found some fun things and my mom paid for it all. Thanks again, mom!
My mom's friend, Deb also gave us a generous gift to help out. We really appreciate the amazing people who have supported us throughout our journey. In big and small ways, we have really been touched by the thoughtful support and kindness of so many.
We left for home later than we had intended on Sunday and I was a little concerned about how late the kids would be getting to bed on a school night. Little did I know what we would come home to, a huge fire on the mountain. Our neighborhood looked different, covered in thick smoke. Our neighbors were leaving as we pulled in, going to stay with relatives. Our house was hazy with smoke and didn't smell too great. Caleb's High School was used as the evacuation sight for families displaced by the fire, so school was cancelled for him on Monday. We let Caitlin stay home too. Crazy times. We're happy things are getting back to normal and more homes were not destroyed or damaged.
My mom, Caitlin, Toni, and I went shopping for the treat bags for the inpatient kids at PCMC that we're going to deliver on Friday. We found some fun things and my mom paid for it all. Thanks again, mom!
My mom's friend, Deb also gave us a generous gift to help out. We really appreciate the amazing people who have supported us throughout our journey. In big and small ways, we have really been touched by the thoughtful support and kindness of so many.
We left for home later than we had intended on Sunday and I was a little concerned about how late the kids would be getting to bed on a school night. Little did I know what we would come home to, a huge fire on the mountain. Our neighborhood looked different, covered in thick smoke. Our neighbors were leaving as we pulled in, going to stay with relatives. Our house was hazy with smoke and didn't smell too great. Caleb's High School was used as the evacuation sight for families displaced by the fire, so school was cancelled for him on Monday. We let Caitlin stay home too. Crazy times. We're happy things are getting back to normal and more homes were not destroyed or damaged.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thoughts About Our Weekend
Bright and early on Saturday, we headed to This is the Place Heritage Park for the 5k and Adventure walk for our support group, HopeKids. It was encouraging to see the turn out this year compared to last. Caleb was asked to organize a flag ceremony in honor of 9/11 and with the help of our friend, Matthew and a soldier, they did a good job. We are so grateful for those who donated to Team Caitlin and helped HopeKids reach the goal of $40,000.
We didn't get to hang around too long after finishing the 5k because Caitlin was playing in her first double header softball game of the season. We missed her first game, but made it just in time for the second. This is the first sport Caitlin has ever played. It's pretty evident that she's not comfortable in her own skin and even more evident that she's not comfortable with the fundamentals of softball. She's playing with girls who have a lot more experience and confidence and who look so much bigger and older. It doesn't help that she got stuck with a huge shirt. Why do they have you choose a shirt size if you end up with something totally different anyway? Anyway, I hope she will stick with softball and will be patient with herself as she learns and becomes more comfortable. There's something about seeing her on a team that makes me really want her to succeed and find her place.
In the late afternoon, we all headed over to our church for the Jamboree Reunion. We had a BBQ and watched a slide show that was put together out of over 3,000 photos (the cute mom who put together the slide show said she left out the pictures one boy had taken of every animal in the Natural History Museum in D.C. and every plane on the Intrepid in NYC). It was amazing to hear the stories and get a real feel for the spirit of Jamboree. Even though the boys spent time together at planning meetings and camp outs in the almost three years of planning for Jamboree, it was amazing to see how they have all bonded and become close friends after being together for three weeks. One of the Scout Masters commented that this is the only group he's taken that the mom's cried when dropping off the big bags, cried when dropping off their boy, and cried again when picking them up at the airport (I would also admit to crying when picking up the big bag!). The whole night was filled with friendship, laughing, appreciation, and more crying. The last thing Scout Master Hall requested was for the boys to count off for the last time and then he announced with a big lump in his throat, "Troop 610 dismissed!" While we are incredibly grateful for this experience, it feels really sad that it has come to an end. The next Jamboree is in 2013 and right now Caleb wants to go. He will be 18 and just months away from leaving on a mission. For now we are holding onto the registration paper. ;-)
We didn't get to hang around too long after finishing the 5k because Caitlin was playing in her first double header softball game of the season. We missed her first game, but made it just in time for the second. This is the first sport Caitlin has ever played. It's pretty evident that she's not comfortable in her own skin and even more evident that she's not comfortable with the fundamentals of softball. She's playing with girls who have a lot more experience and confidence and who look so much bigger and older. It doesn't help that she got stuck with a huge shirt. Why do they have you choose a shirt size if you end up with something totally different anyway? Anyway, I hope she will stick with softball and will be patient with herself as she learns and becomes more comfortable. There's something about seeing her on a team that makes me really want her to succeed and find her place.
In the late afternoon, we all headed over to our church for the Jamboree Reunion. We had a BBQ and watched a slide show that was put together out of over 3,000 photos (the cute mom who put together the slide show said she left out the pictures one boy had taken of every animal in the Natural History Museum in D.C. and every plane on the Intrepid in NYC). It was amazing to hear the stories and get a real feel for the spirit of Jamboree. Even though the boys spent time together at planning meetings and camp outs in the almost three years of planning for Jamboree, it was amazing to see how they have all bonded and become close friends after being together for three weeks. One of the Scout Masters commented that this is the only group he's taken that the mom's cried when dropping off the big bags, cried when dropping off their boy, and cried again when picking them up at the airport (I would also admit to crying when picking up the big bag!). The whole night was filled with friendship, laughing, appreciation, and more crying. The last thing Scout Master Hall requested was for the boys to count off for the last time and then he announced with a big lump in his throat, "Troop 610 dismissed!" While we are incredibly grateful for this experience, it feels really sad that it has come to an end. The next Jamboree is in 2013 and right now Caleb wants to go. He will be 18 and just months away from leaving on a mission. For now we are holding onto the registration paper. ;-)
Monday, September 6, 2010
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
Dear September,
You are by far my favorite month of the year! I count my blessings in September. I love celebrating Caitlin's birthday, as each one is a gift. September is Caitlin's end of treatment anniversary too (it has been 7 lucky years since she last had chemo, 9 years in December since her diagnosis of brain cancer). This month is also recognized as Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Lots of things are happening this month, with opportunities to get involved and make a difference in the lives of these special children and their families.
This is what we are doing-
On September 11, as a family, we are participating in a 5K for our favorite support group, HopeKids. We are trying to reach our goal of $500 by Friday, September 10. Raising $500 this year would double our pledges from last year. We have added a donation link to our website if you care to help us. We love this group and so appreciate all they do for our family. Each month we have many opportunities to participate in a variety of fun things; we get to know other families, and hopefully provide encouragement to those who are just beginning or are in the middle of their fight. Our kids especially like the monthly movie.
We are also eating at Chili's on September 27. On this day, Chili's will donate 100% of the days earnings to St. Jude's for childhood cancer research. Please go and eat there too. In fact, go all out; order an appetizer and dessert too!
For Caitlin's birthday will are taking treats to PCMC for the children who are inpatient in oncology. Our theme is "Life is Sweet". Caitlin makes this proclamation on a regular basis and because she has such a sweet tooth, we thought we'd just make cute care packages with a variety of candy and small toys (similar to a party goody bag) for the hospitalized kids. If you would like to donate candy or help us in any other way, we would be so grateful!
If you have a gold ribbon, wear it for our kids. If you have a healthy kiddo, hug them and thank your Heavenly Father for this blessing.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
We Are Home
We’re home from our D.C. trip and still trying to catch up on sleep (and laundry). We had a good time and I’m happy we could share this experience with my parents and sister.
We definitely gave our best effort seeing and doing as much as we could in the 5 full days we were there. I think we walked about a million and a half miles. Our favorites were the Air and Space Museum, changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknowns, eating at Old Ebbitts, the night bus tour, resting our feet in the fountain at the Sculpture Garden, and the National Archives.
Our main reason for going to D.C. was for the Restoring Honor Rally. It was amazing to see so many people gathered in one location. There are many estimates, but I think the most accurate is 500,000 people who attended (in fact there might have been that many in the subway we were on). It wasn’t a political rally, it was an opportunity to be reminded that our country will change for the better if the citizens turn back to God and exercise faith, hope, and charity. Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and Alveda King were the main speakers. While I was unable to hear parts of the speeches, it was an honor just to be there and take part in this historic event.
We were happy to get home to Caleb and Daisy on Monday night. We missed them both so much.
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